Agressivness. Are we bringing up future criminals? Why do children and teenagers commit crimes? A terrible problem that must be focused soon.
From time to time, we watch awfull crimes committed by children on television. We all remember those two English boys (10 and 12 years old) that raped and murdered a 2-year-old baby. Why did they do it? What is the reason of their behaviour? Another horrofying example took place in Finald some years ago: a 6-year-old boy took his father’s gun and shot at her female partner during a class. Why? They had an argued the day before. Is he guilty? I would never affirm that. He just did what he used to see at home. And, finally, I cannot avoid mentioning José Rabadán, from Murcia, who killed his parents and little sister when he was 16.
Unfortunately, there are not lots of polls or research about this topis. But amizingly, only a 48% of these “criminals” suffer some kind of personality disorder. Then, what happened to the rest of them?
Latest research point out one huge problem: some parents do not know how to bring up their children.
All the babies have a tendency to hit when they want to get something. However, most parents correct this habit, and as a result of it, children learn that Hitting or kicking is not the best way to reach an aim. The problem arrives when parents allow their children use violence to satisfy their wishes.
In Spain, the legislation about the criminal responsability of under-18s was enforced in 2001. This law states that under-14s will never be responsable of their acts and, moreover, describes a wide range of punishments for those teenagers (from 14 to 18) that have committed crimes.
Since 2001, this law has been developped a lot. The evolution has reached a point in which the original law does not have anything to do with the current one. The original law have attach importance to education and courses to provide a proper future for under-18s. One the contrary, nowadays, detention centres and punishments take precedence over education. Nevertheless, There has never been a adequate budget to invest on this centres.
This is an extremely polemic subject, but whatever your opinion is, you must never forget that, when lights are out during the night, the only noise you can hear is a boy crying.
And, before finishing, I want you to think about these young men future. In most cases, when they leave the detention centre, their attitude is worst that before since their mind have been contaminated by other dangeroues partners.
From time to time, we watch awfull crimes committed by children on television. We all remember those two English boys (10 and 12 years old) that raped and murdered a 2-year-old baby. Why did they do it? What is the reason of their behaviour? Another horrofying example took place in Finald some years ago: a 6-year-old boy took his father’s gun and shot at her female partner during a class. Why? They had an argued the day before. Is he guilty? I would never affirm that. He just did what he used to see at home. And, finally, I cannot avoid mentioning José Rabadán, from Murcia, who killed his parents and little sister when he was 16.
Unfortunately, there are not lots of polls or research about this topis. But amizingly, only a 48% of these “criminals” suffer some kind of personality disorder. Then, what happened to the rest of them?
Latest research point out one huge problem: some parents do not know how to bring up their children.
All the babies have a tendency to hit when they want to get something. However, most parents correct this habit, and as a result of it, children learn that Hitting or kicking is not the best way to reach an aim. The problem arrives when parents allow their children use violence to satisfy their wishes.
In Spain, the legislation about the criminal responsability of under-18s was enforced in 2001. This law states that under-14s will never be responsable of their acts and, moreover, describes a wide range of punishments for those teenagers (from 14 to 18) that have committed crimes.
Since 2001, this law has been developped a lot. The evolution has reached a point in which the original law does not have anything to do with the current one. The original law have attach importance to education and courses to provide a proper future for under-18s. One the contrary, nowadays, detention centres and punishments take precedence over education. Nevertheless, There has never been a adequate budget to invest on this centres.
This is an extremely polemic subject, but whatever your opinion is, you must never forget that, when lights are out during the night, the only noise you can hear is a boy crying.
And, before finishing, I want you to think about these young men future. In most cases, when they leave the detention centre, their attitude is worst that before since their mind have been contaminated by other dangeroues partners.
Web powered by Fotovacaciones.com
5 comments:
Mati writing comments by Elena
First, congratulation for the topic, is very interesting. I’d like to do some comments about your article. I think your stlyle is adequate, formal language is used, it is a good work but I’ve noticed some wrong writing words; Aggressiveness, Finland, amanzingly, on the contrary, dangerous, topic, attached,… Be carefull when you write, revise it!.
Second, the tittle, I’d change it or be more specific: for example; “Aggressiveness in children”, “Acts of aggression in children”, ”Juvenile crime”,.. it‘s up to you…
More, in the second paragraph: I’m not sure is the question “ Why did they do it?” is writing in a correct way; the word “argued” would be “argument”; the phrase “He used to see “(confused, because he sees violence at home now, not only in the past); the word “finally” I’d change by “in adition”, because finally is ordinarily writen in the last paragragh.
In the third paragraph, I’d prefer write, “There are no more results of opinion polls or research in this topic”.. I think it is “a huge” not “one huge”. And “ tendecy to hit” maybe, is it to cry? My children when they want anything, they cry or argue, or protest but at first don’t hit.
In the last paragraph, you start with “This is a ….” What? I’d put more information in order to summary and I’d change the order: first “ before finishing..” and second “This is an extremely……”
I hope you don’t bother about my comments. I think we have to be realistic and accept the classmates'opinion in a positive way. I hope you comment my article as I did for you. I'll wait your comment, Bye
First of all, THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENTS ELENA, I appreciate them, and, except for the expression "a tendency to hit" which was exactly what I wanted to say in order to reflect the reason why children use violence, I agree with all your comments and corrections. My text lacks of linking words or I do not use them well (like, you said, 'in addition').
But, moerover, I want to add some more corrections:
In the first paragraph: when I talk about the finish boy
" a 6-year-old boy took his father’s gun and shot at her female partner during a class. Why? They had an argued the day before. Is he guilty? I would never affirm that. He just did what he used to see at home. "
NOW, I WOULD RATHER SAY:
" a 6-year-old boy took his father’s gun and shot at her female partner during a class. Why? They HAD HAD AN ARGUMENT the day before. WOULD YOU PLEAD GUILTY? I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. He just did what he used to see at home. "
note: I keep on using "used to see" but with with an extra sentence: FORTUNATELY, THE BOY WAS ADOPTED BY ANOTHER FAMILY AND, NOWADAYS, HE HAS A NORMAL LIFE, AND, MOREOVER, THE MURDERED GIRL'S MOTHER HAS FORGIVEN HIM
And, finally, I hesitated about this sentence:
" And, before finishing, I want you to think about these YOUNG MEN FUTURE. "
Does anyone think is it correct? Or would you say: ' young men's future '?
Again, Thank you Elena!
Agressivness. Are we bringing up future criminals? Why do children and teenagers commit crimes? A terrible problem that must be focused soon.(GOOD INTRODUCTION)
From time to time, we watch awfull(AWFUL.GOOD SYNONYMOUS!) crimes committed by children on television(I WILL WRITE 'ON TELEVISION' AFTER AWFUL). We all remember those two English boys (10 and 12 years old) that raped and murdered a 2-year-old baby. Why did they do it? What is the reason of their behaviour? Another horrofying (HORRIFYING)example took place(BETTER 'HAPPENED'?) in Finald (FINLAND) some years ago: a 6-year-old boy took his father’s gun and shot ('SHOT DOWN' COULD BE BETTER?)at her female partner during a class. Why? They had an argued (BETTER:'ARGUMENT'? the day before. Is he guilty? (MY PERSONAL OPTION: 'SHOULD WE BLAME HIM FOR IT? )I would never affirm that. He just did what he used to see at home. And, finally, I cannot avoid mentioning José Rabadán, from Murcia, who killed his parents and little sister when he was 16.
Unfortunately, there are not lots of polls or research about this topis(TOPIC)(HERE I PREFER 'NO MANY STUDIES HAVE BEEN CARRIED OUT..'). But amizingly, only a 48% of these “criminals” suffer some kind of personality disorder. Then, what happened to the rest of them?
Latest research point out one huge problem: some parents do not know how to bring up their children.
All the babies have a tendency to hit (I HAVE A DOUBT: BETTER ' HITTING'?)when they want to get something. However, most parents correct this habit, and as a result of it, children learn that Hitting or kicking is not the best way to reach an aim. The problem arrives(USE: ARISE, COME UP OR EMERGE) when parents allow their children use violence to satisfy their wishes.
In Spain, the legislation about the criminal responsability of under-18s was enforced in 2001. This law states (CONFUSING,SINCE LAW STATES COULD MEAN THE LAW OF A TERRITORY, I WOULD USE: 'ESTABLISH')that under-14s will never be responsable of their acts and, moreover, describes a wide range of punishments for those teenagers (from 14 to 18) that have committed crimes.
Since 2001, this law has been developped a lot(A LOT IS A VERY SIMPLE FOR 5TH LEVEL). The evolution has reached a point in which the original law does not have anything to do with the current one. The original law have attach(ATTACHED) importance to education and courses to provide a proper future for under-18s. One the contrary, nowadays, detention centres and punishments take precedence over education. Nevertheless, (there)There has never been a adequate budget to invest on this centres.
This is an extremely polemic subject, but whatever your opinion is, you must never forget that, when lights are out during the night, the only noise you can hear is a boy crying.
And, before finishing(IT SOUNDS BAD, FIND ANOTHER LINKER), I want you to think about these young men future. In most cases, when they leave the detention centre, their attitude is worst that before since their mind have been contaminated by other dangeroues partners.
Very good Mati, really very good. You need just a few to pass the exam in september and I bet you will pass.
Topic very interesting to read. I enjoyed with it.
I have learnt much grammar trying to correct you.
Fulgencio
Congratulations Mati! I think you have choosen a very interesting topic. At least in my case I am very interested on it. I am bringing up two children and it is not very easy. I'm sorry I don't participate with the corrections. Now it's my turn.
Thank you all!!!
I hope that my future corrections will be so usefull as yours have been!
Post a Comment